Susie Hayes Blog

When you are at a crossroad about your pet's well-being - whether to continue medical intervention or allow your pet to pass on, it is not an easy decision.

Though your veterinarian can give you information about your pet's physical condition, only you can best judge the quality of your pet's daily life.

As you observe indicators such as appetite, response to attention, participation in play or activities, or quality of attachment, you will make a decision about what is in your pet's best interest.

If your pet is in constant pain, undergoing stressful treatments with minimal effect, unresponsivie to affection or unaware of its surroundings, then it may be best to choose to end your beloved companion's suffering.

A very wise vet once said to me when I was facing this difficult decision, "Also keep in mind how this is affecting your quality of life."

Remember the honest and unselifsh choice to release your pet is the final gracious act of love.

Do hesitate if you need additional support.

Bottom Line Publishing has recently reported that "medical researchers have discovered that children who endured neglect, abuse, social isolation and/or poverty have a high likelihood of developing certain medical problems now that they are adults.

Understanding how this happens will reveal what specific health measures can help better the odds that such people can have long, healthy -- and far happier lives.

Predictable Patterns

A study from Duke University followed a group of New Zealanders from birth for just over 30 years, at which time researchers evaluated the health of each participant.

They discovered that those who experienced childhood trauma were twice as likely to suffer from serious adult health problems, including major depression and chronic inflammation (as measured by levels of high-sensitivity C-reactive protein), as well as metabolic markers (being overweight, high blood pressure and high total cholesterol, for example) that indicate a higher risk for cardiovascular disease, diabetes and dementia. Another long-range study -- this one from Kaiser-Permanente’s Department of Preventive Medicine -- found that half of the 286 obese people in its treatment program had been sexually abused as children.

While neither of these studies investigated what mechanism might be causing these later physical problems, researchers believe that overstimulation of the stress response in childhood continues to affect nervous, immune and endocrine functioning into adulthood."

What is stress?

When life is asking too much of us.

How do you manage it?

The only way to manage stress is from the inside out.  You can't control or change others, but you can manage what goes on in the theatre of your own mind.

You've been told that facts affect your internal state.  Not true!  Facts do not activate your internal state.  Perception and interpretaton of facts activate your internal state.

If I write the word "rape". which is a (tragic) fact, depending on whether you're a victim, a loved one of a victim, a perpetrator, or a prosectutor, the fact that a rape occured will have a totally different meaning and impact on your internal state.

That is the power of your internal state and the importance of being able to manage it effectively.  It's not about the facts; it's about how you are perceiving and interpeting the facts.

If you want more information about how to develop more effective management strategies, to conserve your energy more effectively, to create more effective solutions, and to problem solve from a totally different perspective, check out my full article on Stress Management.

Fear is making us fat, depressed, and attention disordered.

Actually a social trend, not technically a clinical disorder, the issue of Nature Deficit Disorder -our disconnection with nature - is becoming a growing concern.  Particularly alarming is the increase in obesity, depression, and attention distraction among children.

Last Child In the Woods, by Richard Louv, addresses how parents have discouraged children from being outside, primarily because of fear.  Regimented sports have taken over imaginative play.

I'd like to encourage you today to give yourself at least 10 minutes outside - taking a deep breath, looking up to the sky, noticing the colors that are starting to appear in springtime.  Just these simple actions will bring you renewed balance.

Additional resources

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature_deficit_disorder

http://www.education.com/topic/nature-deficit-disorder/

http://planetgreen.discovery.com/work-connect/green-glossary-nature-deficit.html

Are You Being Used or Abused?

We place a high value on "sacrifice".  We sacrifice for our nation, our children, our career.  We believe it's the "right" thing to do.

I'd like to suggest that sacrifice is not virtuous, rather it is "toxic".  Here's why. Sacrifice results in guilt and resentment.  It breeds obligation and entrapment.

"After all I've done for you."
"You should be grateful."
"How can I not do what they want, after all they gave up for me?"
"I feel gulilty for being more successful."
"How can I ever pay them back?"

What do you feel as you read those statements?  That's right - guilt and resentment.

Historically "sacrifice" was the ritual of killing animal or human life for the purpose of restitution, appeasement, atonement, offering or worship - a symbol that something must be done in response if we've been separated from the Divine.  This goes back to our earliest roots in polytheism (many gods) through Judiaism and into Christianity.  The theme is found in Islam and Hinduism, as well.

The potential for guilt and resentment is clear.  Not to mention - fear.

Look at your own life now.  Where are you "sacrificing"? Here's a clue - any belief, choice, or action that is generating guilt or resentment in you means you're participating in a toxic interaction - you are sacrificing or being sacrificed.

Don't try to sugar-coat "sacrifice" by calling it "charity", "generosity", or "giving".  And don't tell me you're doing it "in the name of love".  If you're expecting payback down the road, you're participating in sacrifice.  If you're feeling guilty about what you're receiving, you're participating in sacrifice. Look closely, you might be masking co-dependence or you might be caught in an abusive cycle. Whatever you label it - if the outcome is guilt or resentment - it's toxic.

For more information on how to set yourself free from "sacrifice" and how to get out of an abusive situation go to . . . "Stop the Abuse - Sacrifice is Toxic".

In the previous centuries, Western medicine studied health primarily in relationship to death and disease.  It is from that orientation that psychology evolved.

As there are now shifts in medical science, focusing more resources on preventive medicine, health maintenance, and anti-aging, psychology is following suit.  Moving away from studying the human experience from the focal point of pathology, dysfunction, or mental illness, this new arena in psychology is devoted to studying and promoting resources that enhance, support, and cultivate healthy emotional and relational experiences.

Positive Psychology is one of the most exciting and impressive areas of study to emerge in the past two decades.

Positive Psychology is the scientific study of human thriving.  The basic premise of this school of thought is that people want to live meaningful, fulfilling lives; people want to cultivate their highest and best; and people want to experience happiness in love, work, and play.

Positive Psychology is interested in what makes life most worth living.  It does not imply that psychology ignore or dismiss pathology, dysfunction, or mental illness.  Rather its value is to complement and extend problem-focused psychology.

Happiness is not simply the absence of depression, anxiety, sadness, guilt, anger, or fear.  Positive Psychology is holds the premise that "the good life" can be learned and expanded.

Three areas of study are now being developed:

1. Positive emotions
   Including contentment, happiness, and hope
2. Positive individual traits
   Including strength and virtues, capacity for love and work, courage, compassion, resilience, creativity, curiosity, integrity, self-knowledge, moderation, self-control, and wisdom
3. Positive institutions/communities containing the elements of justice, responsibility, civility, parenting, nurturance, work ethic, leadership, teamwork, purpose, and tolerance

Positive Psychology is pursuing this research and development for the support of:

1. Families and schools that encourage children to flourish
2. Work environments that foster satisfaction and high productivity
3. Communities that encourage civic engagement
4. Therapists and healers that identify and nurture their clients' strengths

For more information:

http://www.bdp-gus.de/gus/Positive-Psychologie-Aufruf-2000.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_psychology

http://books.google.com/books?id=h6oQOMmanf0C&printsec=frontcover&dq=positive+psychology&source=bll&ots=ryLrwEg-Wc&sig=fFTuiAVM6iuSq1dQrPeGzb-NuuQ&hl=en&ei=us5

So What the Heck is Energy Psychology?

Energy Psychology is one of the most rapidly growing clinical approaches today.  With the development and expansion of quantum physics, the marriage of psychology and energy studies has created unprecedented resources for change.  What was once considered mystical and suspect has gained credibility.

Once psychotherapy was considered the more effective way to bring about change in people and in relationships.  With the new development in the scientific knowledge of energy and how it works at a variety of levels, combined with the proven field of psychology, we can  create change more rapidly then ever before.

It is now recognized that one of the most effective approaches to change is ThetaHealing.  This is a system that uses the best of energy and psychology.  Developed by Vianna Stibal at the end of the last century, it is a modality that works with your core beliefs, genetic influences, memories, and history, along with mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual experiences, to create rapid, lasting change.

How Does It Work?
It has been scientifically proven that your body stores information at a cellular level.

Working with the Theta brain wave, while in a relaxed state, we can connect with your subconscious and conscious mind, to obtain the information we need, to produce the change that you want.  That means that whatever challenges you have had in the past -  i.e. anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, lack of self-esteem or confidence, self-destructive habits or patterns - can now be changed more rapidly and thoroughly than before - using both psychology AND energy.

Bypassing your conscious defenses, we can now access this information, identify the beliefs that are no longer serving you, and install clear directives that are in your best interest.  We can direct your mind to release the impressions and beliefs of the past and to activate positive beliefs that will move you forward in your health and happiness in the future.

How Long Does It Take?
ThetaHealing is very specific in its focus.  Here's the simple steps involved:

1. We will precisely identify what you want to change.
2. Then we will go straight to the source of what needs to change and activate the change at that level.
3. When this change process is completed energetically and emotionally, you will be able to move forward to your goal.

That Sounds Too Simple.
I respect your skepticism.  ThetaHealing is not magic.  It is a modality for change and is often even more effective when combined with psychotherapy and hypnosis.

Susie Hayes, MA,CCHT, NLP is a Psychotherapist, Certified Hypnotist, Certified Life Coach, and Certified Business Coach.  With over 25 years in private practice, she will help you access internal resources you never knew you had, to create what you never knew you could.